i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
