hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
