And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
