New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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