Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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