Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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