I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
