We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
