I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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