i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
