my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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