Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
