I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
