I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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