Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
