doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
