Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
