hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
