I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize