Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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