Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
