I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
