You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this