I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
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Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.