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Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
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