Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.