My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
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A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.