Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.

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  (860): You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met. http://tfl.nu/wpe7
  Replies (9) Good night (3361) Bad night (656)
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  (562): View more from California

  he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.

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  (562): he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8. http://tfl.nu/qal7
  Replies (13) Good night (4489) Bad night (1096)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out

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  (847): just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out http://tfl.nu/k8ty
  Replies (7) Good night (4954) Bad night (1190)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?

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  (651): a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore? http://tfl.nu/vjlb
  Replies (12) Good night (1038) Bad night (3238)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit

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  (315): I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit http://tfl.nu/ybzi
  Replies (7) Good night (3763) Bad night (1949)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry

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  (219): I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry http://tfl.nu/lrp2
  Replies (21) Good night (1206) Bad night (4547)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.

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  (617): I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night. http://tfl.nu/ytje
  Replies (7) Good night (4068) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.

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  (309): I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights. http://tfl.nu/c1hf
  Replies (5) Good night (1631) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese

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  (805): It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese http://tfl.nu/i0pz
  Replies (4) Good night (1052) Bad night (2033)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.

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  (225): I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left. http://tfl.nu/d68g
  Replies (24) Good night (3560) Bad night (1487)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.

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  (951): We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question. http://tfl.nu/23so
  Replies (13) Good night (1953) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day

  (1-716): View more from New York

  Eh. They balance each other out

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  (716): I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day (1-716): Eh. They balance each other out http://tfl.nu/9dcn
  Replies (6) Good night (1052) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Way to promote small business.

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  (314): Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business (314): Way to promote small business. http://tfl.nu/n30m
  Replies (3) Good night (1493) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit

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  (514): He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit http://tfl.nu/ybl7
  Replies (4) Good night (518) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?

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  (814): Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade? http://tfl.nu/q9y9
  Replies (3) Good night (210) Bad night (441)

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