If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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