im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Boobs are out for the taking
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
