apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
