I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
