I wanna bring you to show and tell
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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