"it" just moved
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
