I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
