Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize