I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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