Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
