Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
