i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
