Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
