She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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