but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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