So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
