Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
