got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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