I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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