woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
