The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
