Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
