i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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