Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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