We're facebook friends in real life
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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