that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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