Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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