Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
