i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
