found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
