I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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