The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
