Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
