They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
